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Over the years, I've done a number of posts on my favorite Christmas books and movies and music. I'll let you peruse the blog to find those lists, because this year it's time to do something a little bit different.
It's time to do some holiday shopping.
I do, in fact, enjoy shopping. I particularly enjoy shopping for presents for other people. It gives me a thrill to find something I know that someone else will love for Christmas. Notable exceptions include my husband, Webmaster Mikey, who is a) picky and b) buys himself whatever he wants the second he wants it, and my brother Jason, who is . . . pretty much exactly the same. "I got you a panini maker!" "Ugh, I have like, five of those!" "Here's a shirt!" "Meh, I probably wouldn't wear that."
GAH.
But other people are great to shop for! Particularly my kids! My kids love everything they receive! They even like getting clothes! It's fantastic!
So that made my holiday shopping pretty easy this year, which means I have ample time to help you, dear reader, with your shopping lists! Especially since I have been up in arms about Gifts for Book Lovers, or what passes as a Gift for a Book Lover According to Entertainment Weekly. Now, I've been a subscriber to EW for almost twenty years now. I like movie gossip, mm hmm yes I do. It's true that I occasionally I think, "Wow, they are either super out of touch with the average human being, or am weirder than I thought," but mostly it's been a good relationship. EW is where I learned about Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, one of my favorite books of all time, and Penelope, one of my favorite movies of all time, and where I go for all things Hobbit movie related.
And then, a couple of weeks ago, they published their Holiday Gift Guides, as they do every November. These are broken into categories like, For the Music Lover, For the Film Lover, etc. And the very first one? For the Book Lover. Huzzah! What excitement!
But I looked at the products on that page, and I squinted, and I checked the heading to make sure I was reading the right list, and I blinked a few times . . . and it didn't change. There still wasn't a book on that list. There were, in fact, things on that list that no self-respecting book lover would even purchase for someone else.
There were subscriptions to electronic reading services that deliver books to your e-reader, which seems okay, except that you can't choose the book or even the genre, it's a total crapshoot. You might get the latest Dave Eggers, you might get a cookbook, you might get . . . I honestly don't know. There was a baby onesie that had the EW logo on it. Which is cute . . . and has diddly poop to do with being a book lover. There was tea. Because all book lovers drink tea, amirite? And then, my personal favorite, a bookmark. Sounds like a good idea, right? I can always use a new bookmark! I love bookmarks! But this one was made out of filigreed brass, which is heavy and slick, two things that aren't that desirable in a bookmark, and it ended in a sharp point on one end, and that point was a pen. That couldn't be capped. That's right, it was A HEAVY, SHARP, SLICK, INK-FILLED BOOKMARK.
What is the WHAT, EW?!
I mean, seriously! It was honestly like they couldn't find someone who actually read actual paper books to ask, so they grabbed some random freebies they'd been given in the past year and slapped them on the page.
I just . . . I can't even. I'll stop now, and instead present you with a list of REAL gifts for the book lover in your life!
Ahem.
1. A book.
Can't go wrong there, right?
Don't know what title to get? Ask them! Say: "What book are you really excited to get your hands on?" I can guarantee that they'll tell you!
Or, here's an idea: Say that your friend raves on and on about The Hobbit, or Jane Eyre, or A Little Princess. Is there a new anniversary edition of that book? An illustrated edition? I just found darling little "pocket-sized" versions of Tolkien's books, with his original art on the covers! And I just helped someone at the King's English (I was a bookseller for a day, it was fabulous, btw) find an anniversary edition with new color illustrations of The Secret Garden for her grandchildren.
You can also purchase gift cards for their favorite bookshop, and let them have the joy of picking out a book themselves! Or do they like authors who are still alive? Check that author's website: It may be possible to get signed and personalized copies of the author's books! (Ahem. You can order my books, all signed and stamped and personalized, via the King's English Bookshop.)
2. A bookcase.
This could be pricy, but a number of people on Twitter brought it up. So, if you're a parent or a spouse of a book lover, how about it? How about a bookcase, maybe with a new book to go on it? Bookcases are kinda important, if you're a chronic biblioholic.
3. Bookmarks.
Yep, bookmarks. Even after my rant. But they are still useful. My favorites are the kind that have a tassel, or maybe some beads dangling from them, and there are infinite varieties that don't weigh five pounds and leak ink. There are book tabs that you can use to mark favorite pages. There are bookmarks with quotes on them, and bookmarks with jokes on them, cartoon and movie and book characters and even Justin Bieber! You must know a little bit about your book lover's habits or likes and dislikes! Get them a fun bookmark! Or, do they lose bookmarks a lot and complain about it? Do you see them marking books with scraps of paper or even a square of toilet paper? (We've all done it, don't judge.) How about getting them a whole bundle of bookmarks? I once got a whole packet of cheap little bookmarks with dragons on them for Christmas, and they were my favorite thing. I was a teenager, and lost bookmarks on a daily basis. They seemed to be in endless supply (though eventually I lost them all), but because of the cute dragon picture I really did make an effort not to leave them in library books.
4. Jewelry/clothing/book bags.
Check out www.outofprintclothing.com for starters. They feature a vast array of t-shirts, sweatshirts, baby onesies, socks, tote bags, wallets, notebooks, you-name-it, all featuring the original covers of classic books, portraits of authors, or favorite characters. They also have "library wear" that features library cards or banned books. Get your book lover a Pride & Prejudice t-shirt. A book bag that looks like an old-fashioned library card. Socks that feature banned books with the titles blacked out. A "doubleplusgood" necklace inspired by Orwell's 1984. So many fun things! Also, for every product sold they donate a book to a school in Africa.
Another good place for bookwear is Etsy. Do a search for "book jewelry" or "Jane Eyre" or whatever it is you're looking for. I have a bracelet that I love that has a favorite quote from Little Women on it: "She is too fond of books and it has turned her brain." Awesome, right? There are scarves with the entire text of Hamlet printed on them, or the map of Middle-Earth. Lockets with romantic quotes from Jane Austen. Beautiful prints of book covers, or book quotes, or even quotes about books. Embroidery. T-shirts. SKIRTS. No lie: there is a person who makes women's skirts with typewriters on them, or books, or the covers of classic books. The fabric must be custom made, and they are awesome (and under $50!). Etsy is chockfull of fun things for book lovers!
5. Notebooks/diaries.
Is your book lover also a writer? How about a list maker? I love to get notebooks! I use them to jot down ideas for books, or names that I might want to use in a story. I also like to carry one around in case I need to write down the name of a book or an author I might want to read. There are also a lot of fun journals and diaries geared toward book lovers, too, where you can make lists of favorite books and what they meant to you, or keep track of what you want to read or have read in a more organized fashion. These are usually found in the diary section of bookstores.
All right! Did that help?
GOOD.
Now, go do some shopping!
And remember: 'Tis always better to seek out the local bookstore than to click that button on Amazon!
(And if you're wondering about the picture at the top of this post: It's a Christmas book camouflaged against my Christmas sheets.)
Hello, everybody, and welcome to November! Yep, that's right! It's November already! And we're approaching the end of November, too. And you know what that means . . . Christmas shopping!
No! (Okay, more on that later!)
What it actually means is that Thanksgiving is nigh upon us, and now is the time in which to reflect on all that we have to be thankful for. So I thought I'd be share some of that with you all. I bet you can guess, by looking at the picture at the top of this post, one of the things I'm thankful for.
If you guessed THURSDAYS WITH THE CROWN, you're correct! THURSDAYS is my tenth book. TENTH. BOOK. I'm so thankful for my career as an author. I'm so thankful that there are publishers out there who want to work with me, who want to bring my books to readers, I just don't even know how to express my gratitude enough!
Other things to be thankful for include my family. Webmaster Mikey, Boy, Baby Girl, and Baby Roo are all amazing, and I could not love them more. I'm also thankful for my extended family, who are always so fun and funny and supportive and awesome.
Take my mom, for instance. Last year I was diagnosed with Fatty Liver Disease, along with several other stomach and digestive problems. I was having constant, terrible stomach aches. They were so severe that they would make me break out in a sweat, and often even vomit, just because of the intense pain. My doctor wanted me to be on a very strict food program for several months. I would have to cut out dozens of foods, and carefully eat combinations of other foods to make sure I was getting enough nutrition while still letting my liver, stomach, and intestines (which were apparently full of tiny holes) heal. How, exactly, is a mom of three with a full time job supposed to do that? Well, my mom moved in with us for two weeks. She cooked me my special food and my kids and husband other, regular food. For the first two days of this food program I couldn't have any dairy, but also no wheat, sugar . . . basically no carbs of any kind. I couldn't (and still shouldn't) have citrus fruits, tomatoes, apples, onions, or anything with acid in them. I thought I was going to pass out. I just laid on the couch while my mom brought me plain hamburger patties and raspberries every two hours. After my mom left, she called daily to check on me and give me suggestions, while I got the hang of trying to do it myself. She'd also left me with a freezer full of precooked food I could just heat up. Amazing. I feel better now than I've felt in years. I'm so thankful for my mom, and I'm also thankful that I no longer feel like I'm dying every time I eat!
I'm thankful for good books to read! Books like NIGHTMARES! by Jason Segel and Kirsten Miller, I'LL GIVE YOU THE SUN by Jandy Nelson, and ALL THE LIGHT WE CANNOT SEE by Anthony Doerr.
I'm thankful for my new office in our basement, which has built in bookcases and pink and green walls!
I'm thankful for pumpkin pie, pumpkin cookies, and anything else you can put pumpkin in! Pumpkin is one of the few vegetables I can still eat! I think if my doctor had told me no pumpkin, I'd be dead now. Pumpkin and chocolate. Yes, so thankful for chocolate!
And I am thankful, as I always am, for Christmas. Christmas is coming. You all know how much I love Christmas, and everything to do with Christmas! The music! The food! The message of Christmas! Santa Claus! Christmas trees! Snow! Christmas books! Christmas movies! And it's right around the corner!
So let's talk about Christmas shopping!
For one thing, if you're in the Salt Lake/Provo/Orem area, you're in luck. You can come and see me and get books signed for presents! I'll be at the Orem Barnes & Noble this very Saturday as part of their Discovery Weekend, at 6 pm, along with several other authors. Barnes & Noble is offering special editions of THURSDAYS which have maps of the Castle in them and a special bonus story!
On November 29th, I'll be at the City Creek Deseret Bookstore in downtown Salt Lake City from 12-2 signing, and from 4-7 pm that afternoon I'll be a Bookseller for a Day at The King's English in Sugarhouse! And December 20th I'll be at the Barnes & Noble Fort Union from 3:30 to 5:30, signing those last minute Christmas gifts! Remember, too, that you can call in orders to The King's English, and I will sign and personalize them before they are shipped to you.
Books make wonderful presents, signed books make even better presents! Whenever my brothers ask me what I want for my birthday or Christmas, I always say, Books! And they go, Really? That's all? To which I reply:
How long have you known me? It's ALL about the books!
So give thanks for books!
In years past I've done movie lists and kept it to ten or eleven movies, but this year I pretty much enjoyed everything I saw, so I think I will take a page from my friend Howard Tayler's book and just list all the movies I saw, in order of personal enjoyment. (Howard Tayler is a web cartoonist and the creator of Schlock Mercenary. If you don't know Schlock, check out www.schlockmercenary.com, and you're in for a treat!) I was looking at my list of movies and thinking, am I just not as discerning about FILM as I once was? I searched in my heart and the answer that I came up with was . . . Well, sort of.
Once upon a time, Webmaster Mikey and I used to go to the movies every week. We saw things like Zoolander, and Drop Dead Gorgeous, and also things like Mirrormask and The Whale Rider, because we could! We could drop everything and go to the movies any time we wanted! Because there were no children who needed babysitting, and so it was very easy! But now there are three children, THREE, and one of them will not even sit still long enough to see a Disney movie, so now we are more choosy. How badly do we want to see this movie, and is it getting good reviews? Has my sister seen it? Does she think it's worth getting a babysitter for? These are questions that we must first ask, and so the list of movies I've seen has narrowed.
Also, it rarely includes poignant films in which ugly people talk about their issues. But it does include movies in which superheroes save things and stuff gets blown up, because if I'm going to drop $25 for a babysitter plus the price of movie tickets and popcorn, I want to see a Hemsworth brother with no shirt on, and that's that!
And so, the lists!
Here are my favorite animated films from this year:
1. Frozen
2. Monsters University
3. Despicable Me 2
And the grownup movies:
1. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
2. Iron Man 3
3. Thor: The Dark World
4. The Way, Way Back
5. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
6. World War Z
7. Warm Bodies
8. Star Trek: Into Darkness
9. Saving Mr. Banks
10. The Lone Ranger
11. Man of Steel
12. Elysium
13. Pacific Rim
14. Gravity
15. Ender's Game
16. Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters
17. R.I.P.D.
18. The Wolverine
19. Jack the Giant Slayer
Voila!
Although, speaking of people talking about issues: I did go see Philomena last night, and it was wonderful! Two thumbs way up for that sweet film! And in the coming year I'm really looking forward to Winter's Tale, The Lego Movie, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and The Muppets: Most Wanted.
How about you guys?
I know that I don't really talk about my family much on ye blog- okay, I probably complain about them a lot, but I don't really address them as people as much as I should. So today I thought I'd take a moment to talk about my husband. You see, fifteen years ago today, I married a man named Douglas.
"Wait a minute," you say. "I thought your husband was named Webmaster Mikey!"
You are not wrong. But if you were hoping for some juicy story about how I left that cad Douglas and rode off on a white horse with Webmaster Mikey . . . well, let me explain. The officiator at our wedding thought his name was Douglas. Just when I started to panic, worried that our marriage would not be valid, my dad leaned over and corrected the man. And lo, I married Webmaster Mikey all good and proper. We got married in the Salt Lake LDS Temple, and it was a beautiful day: the sun was shining, flowers were blooming, our family was all there. As I look out at this blustery day, I realize how lucky we were to have good weather that day. Also family, since now my in-laws are scattered across the country. Plus, I looked really good in the pictures and we ate cake (and later hamburgers, thanks to my sister's husband who kindly does not hate us for getting married on his birthday).
And then we moved into our tiny, dank basement studio apartment, and real life began.
And I fully began to appreciate Webmaster Mikey.
You see, I am the princess. I am the youngest child of my parents. I am my mommy's little sweetheart.
I'm spoiled.
(There, I admit it.)
My parents put money in my checking account every week until the day before I got married. They continued to pay my college tuition even after I got married. I knew how to cook and clean and speak German, but boy howdy did I not know the value of money. Or how to get a decent job. I will also probably be late to my own funeral.
Webmaster Mikey, on the other hand, is not spoiled. No, he is a gem. The boy knows how to work. He knows how to balance a checkbook. And he knows how to chivvy me out the door so that I can get me to the church on time, as the song says. (Not to mention the book signing, school program, and pretty much everything else.)
In the first year of our marriage I was hospitalized twice with life-threatening health problems, and probably saw the inside of the ER three to four times. I couldn't work for several months, in fact, I couldn't get off the couch. I had two serious bouts of depression (that I can recall) and one "freak out" (code for an anxiety attack) that led to me quitting my newly acquired job. Once I graduated from college, I needed time to write books, so I refused to take any full time job.
There's a reason why my first published book, DRAGON SLIPPERS, is dedicated to him.
Webmaster Mikey took all that in stride. He cooks and cleans. He works like a dog at jobs that really aren't all that fun, to support me in the manner to which I have always been accustomed. He changes light bulbs, furnace filters, and diapers, wears spit-up covered shirts, then launders said shirts along with all the other dirty clothes. I once spent a year doing nothing but working on a novel (which was so crappy that it will never see the light of day), while he worked two jobs to support us. People who found out I was just at home all day would ask how many kids we had, and he'd say proudly, "None, but Jessica's writing a book." "Has she gotten published?" "No, but she will soon."
That.
Right there. Did you catch that?
More important than the laundering and cooking and toilet scrubbing and the holding of hands in the ER while I am blasted full of antibiotics for yet another kidney infection is that right there, folks. From the moment we met, and I said I wanted to be a fantasy writer, he's believed me. And believed IN me. He has always known that I would be published one day, even when he had never read anything I'd written, and he's done everything humanly possible to make sure it happened. Supported me emotionally and financially, from day one, when things, frankly, seemed bleak.
And he continues to support me. He uses vacation days to babysit the kids while I visit schools. He's still our main source of income. He does 99.9% of our grocery shopping, with all the kids in tow, so that I can spend Saturday afternoons writing. True story: for the past three years, Webmaster Mikey has spent nearly every Saturday in a car full of whiny children, running every errand under the sun and then doing the week's grocery shopping to give me as much time as possible to write.
Marriage is hard, people. There are arguments, especially in the beginning, that feel like your world will end if you don't get your way. (And then later you realize that the whole issue was too stupid for words.) You're living with another person day after day after day. Their weird habits. And noises. And smells. Making that work takes a lot of energy, and I won't lie and say that the first few years of our marriage were fabulously sunny and filled with nothing but picnics and Eskimo kisses. I like to spend money on clothes. He likes having a savings account. We've both had to make compromises.
But at the end of the day, I enjoy relaxing on my MemoryFoam mattress, watching The Soup with my best friend. Who is awesome. And has probably made dinner, and certainly been in charge of putting the kids to bed.
And occasionally I like to reflect on how this man has put up with me for FIFTEEN YEARS!
All hail Webmaster Mikey!
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